Dining Out
by Splendid Shadows
Summary: Vergil and Lady decide to forgo Dante's usual pizza dinner and eat out instead. When the bill comes and they can't decide on who should pay, well ... you know how they can get. :P One shot. R&R please!


**Title: **Dining Out  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Pairing:** VxL if you want to see it that way. There's definitely some heavy hinting going on. :)  
**Disclaimer:** Devil May Cry and its associated characters are the property of Capcom. I just … borrowed them for a while. No devil was injured in the making of this fic.  
**Dedication:** To **Devil Sunday** because you're an awesome friend and your conversation inspired this! So enjoy! ;)  
**Status: **Complete since this is only a one-shot.  
**A/N: **OK I know _some_ of you may be wondering where the update for _Dealing with Disaster_ is. It's coming but I want to get my last holiday entry written before working on that. And wouldn't you know it, _this_ suddenly came to mind and wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it. So here it is. Hopefully with this out of my brain I can write what I meant to. :)

Review this please if you like it! And if you have any suggestions on making it better, that would be appreciate too. :)

* * *

Vergil hated to admit it but … this was kind of nice. 

Currently he and Lady were sitting at a small restaurant in the heart of the city's downtown area. All around them were the hushed conversations of young couples out on dates. They leaned across the table in the semi-darkness; a few were holding hands while even more were kissing and necking each other. There were nervous laughs, _'come hither'_ looks, and casual touching.

It disgusted Vergil but he hid it well. He didn't have time for that kind of thing and really, who wanted to act like a lovesick idiot anyway?

Looking across the small table at his eating companion, he quirked an eyebrow as Lady licked her fork clean. She was quite involved in her chocolate cheesecake and didn't even seem to notice the making out happening all around her.

Daintily she speared the remaining piece of cake before popping it in her mouth. Like its predecessors the mouthful of cake seemed to throw her into ecstasy. Lady hummed like an engine and even rubbed her back against the chair a few times. Her eyes were closed, and she looked like she was in Heaven.

'_Well at least one of us is having fun,'_ he snorted to himself as he sipped at his glass of wine. Who knew she had a food fetish?

But thinking about food obsessions made him recall his own brother's _irrational _love with pizza.

The corners of Vergil's eyes cringed as his mind pictured that round, sauce-covered _thing_.

Even the mere mention of the word made his stomach roil in revulsion. How Dante managed to eat it almost three times a day, seven days a week, _all year round_, was beyond him. Dante would be dead from high cholesterol already if he weren't half-demon.

However Vergil had pizza to thank for this impromptu dinner with Lady.

Earlier that night he'd just returned to the building he shared with Dante when Lady stepped out. They'd nodded at each other like they usually did, but uncharacteristically Lady had talked to him. She'd warned him that Dante had gotten extra anchovies on his dinner pizza and the office smelled like a fish market. Tired of eating so much junk food, she was heading for a nearby Italian place that _didn't_ serve pizza.

He'd wordlessly tagged along, and she didn't seem to mind him following her. They'd gone into the restaurant, eaten a superbly cooked meal, and were now enjoying dessert. Well, Lady was enjoying it; Vergil was just watching her over the rim of his wine glass.

He took another sip of the nice French wine he'd been savoring throughout all of the meal. This evening had gone off _perfectly_, though by no means was it a 'date'. He didn't go on those, he reminded himself; there were more important things to do. But still … it was nice.

Perhaps it was the comfortable ambience the dim lights and tea candles on each table made. Or maybe it was the fine dining they'd just enjoyed. The pleasure of the evening was probably due to the pair finally feeling comfortable around each other; usually the atmosphere was tense and awkward when they were alone together. Vergil found himself feeling more content than he could ever remember.

A waiter appeared by their table like a wraith and placed a small tray near the softly glowing candle.

"The bill, sir," he mummered as he looked at Vergil. "I hope both of you had a nice meal."

The half-demon nodded and the waiter left. He took the bill from the tray and eyed the amount. Well it was more expensive than usual, but the food had been worth it.

"Humph!"

"What is it?" Vergil asked as he placed the bill back on the table. He saw her eyeing the tray and he spotted two chocolate mints there.

"You can have both of them if you want."

"It's not that!" she scowled though she did pocket both the chocolates. "It was the waiter."

"Oh," he asked as he rummaged for his wallet inside his coat. Where in the nine Hells did he put it? "He seemed more efficient than regular waiters. I thought he actually did his job well."

"I know, but did you notice that he gave _you_ the bill?" she almost growled as she gave their waiter the evil eye. To his credit (or discredit) he didn't seem to detect the killing intent in her glare.

"And why wouldn't he?" Vergil frowned as he continued looking for his wallet.

"Well it's such a sexist thing to do!" Lady fumed. "He assumed we were on a date and that a _man_ should pay."

"Are you complaining about getting a free meal?" Vergil scoffed.

"No, I'm complaining about society's fallacious view on a woman's inability to pay," Lady folded her arms under her breasts.

"Look, he put the bill in the middle of the table," he pointed at the offending plastic tray. "Either of us could have picked it up."

"But he talked to _you_," she said stubbornly.

Vergil stared at her.

"Nevermind!" Lady flushed slightly. "I'll pay. It looks like you can't find your wallet anyway."

"No I found it-"

Both placed their hands on the bill and they touched.

Lady and Vergil froze.

Their eyes seemed glued to each other's hands, and neither dared move a muscle.

'_That **didn't** just happen!'_ Lady's mind screeched.

'… _Why did this happen?'_ Vergil asked himself.

As if moving on an unseen signal both simultaneously drew their arms back. The feel of skin against skin sent electric sparks dancing down their spines.

Lady suddenly found her empty plate very interesting.

Vergil drained the rest of his wine in a single gulp.

'_OK, take two,'_ Lady told herself. _'Be assertive; if you let Vergil pay the bill he'll think he's won! And he's **insufferable** when he thinks he's won!'_

'_I don't see what Lady's problem is,'_ Vergil sighed internally. _'It's not like we're actually on a real date. Maybe I should have eaten with Dante after all.'_

He wrinkled his nose at the thought of forcing down another slice of greasy cheese and anchovies.

'No, maybe not, but I still don't see why Lady is making such a fuss over this. I'll just pay the bill so we can leave. The sooner this is over, the better.' 

They both reached for the bill again, but this time they made sure to trap the edges of the paper with their fingers.

Each tried to tug the bill towards them, but the other wouldn't let go. Lady glared into Vergil's ice-blue eyes, and he did the same to her bi-coloured ones.

Neither gave an inch.

"Don't be so obstinate, Lady," Vergil said through gritted teeth. "My paying the bill doesn't mean you couldn't."

"Ditto," she smiled frostily as she continued to tug at the paper. "So why don't you let me? I have enough money to pay for both of us."

"I already have my wallet out."

"I can get mine easily," she countered.

"Stubborn," he hissed.

"Arrogant," she hissed back.

They both glared at each other.

Deciding to speed things along (and win this argument, naturally), Vergil nudged Lady's chair with his foot. Its sudden movement almost caused her face to plant into the table's centerpiece, which of course, was the tea candle.

"I can't believe you did that!" she yelled, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. "You almost burnt my face!"

"It was an accident," he said blandly, which was actually the truth. He didn't mean to move her chair _that_ much, but she was lighter than he expected. But to his chagrin he saw that her little averted accident hadn't made her let go of the bill.

"Yeah right!" she snapped and whipped out a pistol.

'_Crap!'_ was all he had time to think of as he ducked under the table.

'_Lady spends way too much time with trigger-happy Dante,'_ Vergil thought with a scowl as he waited for her to fire. But when no sounds of flying bullets came, he dared to straighten up in his chair.

Lady was trying to pull the bill out from under his fingers, which fortunately, he hadn't moved when he sought cover.

"Vergil, just give me the damned bill!" she finally pouted.

"No," he said, unmoved at her display.

"Argh!" Lady yelled and really _did_ shoot for real.

To her credit it wasn't _directly_ at him, but he unsheathed his ever-present Yamato anyway and swatted the bullets away. He didn't put anyone in danger, but the people sitting in the direction of the deflected bullets didn't stick around to appreciate it.

And they did all of this without letting go of the bill.

"So you want to play it that way, hmm?" he smirked as the restaurant quickly emptied.

"Yeah," she grinned in response. There was nothing like a good challenge to get her blood racing.

"As the Lady wishes," Vergil said. Quickly letting go of the paper he used his now free hand to smack the table's underside. With his devil strength he caused the table to flip end over end and crash against a wall.

Lady had backed away from the flying table, but she'd taken out another pistol. She quickly spotted the bill as it fluttered in the air, but so had her opponent.

"No you don't!" she said as she fired several salvos at him.

Vergil used Yamato once more to deflect the bullets. Plates, dinnerware, and glasses could be heard breaking as her ammo hit them. Several holes also blossomed on the wall like flowers on a spring day.

"You have to do better than that," he laughed. "Didn't I tell you that guns are no good?"

"Dante doesn't think so," she taunted as she kept firing at him.

"Dante is an idiot," Vergil scowled. "And he's not part of this conversation. Now let me show you what a real weapon can do!"

Concentrating his will and devil powers, Vergil created several glowing blue swords that floated around him. He smirked at her surprised face before pointing his index finger at her.

Immediately the swords shot towards her, and Lady had to jump, roll, and somersault to avoid them.

To his credit Vergil hadn't made the swords powerful enough to really hurt her if they did hit. Of course he didn't tell her that; it was nice to be treated to a gymnastic display after dinner.

"Ha!" she crowed triumphantly as she finished off a flip and landing gracefully on an upturned chair. "Is that all?"

"So you want more?" Vergil cocked a fine eyebrow.

"Bring it," Lady grinned wildly before shooting her pistols at him.

"This again?" Vergil asked laconically, but he was also smiling. He batted away the offending bullets, and watched as one of them shattered a full wine bottle.

'_Such a waste,'_ he thought pityingly.

"Now!" Lady whispered to herself and grabbed a nearby steak knife from a table. She threw it at Vergil not knowing he was distracted.

It grazed his face and drew blood.

Lady gasped. She knew this was _nothing_ compared to the other injuries the Sparda brothers regularly got, but still she felt bad giving it to him. Drawing blood was a sign of true aggression, of hate and hostility. That wasn't what she wanted at all.

"Vergil, I'm sor-"

"Tsk, tsk, Lady," he wagged a finger at her as he was suddenly standing in front of her, the point of Yamato at her throat. "You know this scratch is nothing to me. Don't get distracted from our little game."

"Well excuse me for worrying," she grumbled as she whacked Yamato away from her throat.

"I'll excuse you … just this once," Vergil said teasingly.

It caused her to blush, but out of the corner of her eye she saw a familiar looking paper lying on the floor.

Leaping off the chair she made a mad dash for the bill, but Vergil quickly caught sight of her intended target. He sheathed Yamato and ran for it too.

Lady tipped a chair in his path but he jumped over it.

He tried to trip her but it didn't even break her stride.

"It's mine!" they both shouted as they made a flying tackle at the bill.

They both landed beside each other, their hands touching over the bill once more. Lady was breathing hard but laughing, and Vergil smiled broadly. This night really was nice and the most fun he'd had in a while. If he'd spoken his thoughts aloud, Lady would have wholeheartedly agreed

Too bad their 'fun' usually consisted of the destruction of property.

The pair perked up at the sounds of approaching sirens. They both exchanged looks before sitting up and simultaneously emptying their wallets.

"Do you think this is enough to cover all the damages?" Lady asked as she shook bills and coins onto the floor.

"It better be. I'm not coming back here if it isn't," he said as he dropped a wad of cash next to hers.

They both stood up and exited the restaurant post haste.

Speed walking down the street, they didn't slow down till they stood in front of Devil May Cry. The neon lights caste them in a reddish glow, but neither noticed. Lady let out a sigh of relief that the police weren't following them. Vergil merely stood beside her.

Noticing her companion again, Lady couldn't help but smile. She didn't stop grinning at him even when he raised an eyebrow at her.

"What is it?" Vergil frowned, wondering if he got something on him during their 'little game'. He hoped not; it was getting hard finding dry cleaners that would take their clothes anymore. Apparently most of them didn't like having to get so much blood out of their clothes all the time.

"Nothing," Lady chuckled.

"Tell me," his frowned deepened.

Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Please," he sighed explosively.

"Well since you asked so nicely," Lady rolled her eyes. "I was just thinking that tomorrow night I'd like to have some Chinese food."

Vergil's eyebrows rose almost to his hairline.

"You're kidding me."

"Nope," she shook her head. "Are you game?"

"It would be … a pleasure," Vergil finally answered.

"Thought so," Lady smiled as she offered him her arm. "May I escort the worthy gentleman inside?"

Wordlessly he twined his arm around hers. They both walked up the steps and entered the building.

Yeah … this night had definitely been nice.

* * *

In a restaurant called the Glowing Dragon Chinese Restaurant, a set of brand new teacups all cracked at the same time. The owner was mystified at this, but ignored his cook's insistence that this was a bad omen. A _very_ bad omen. 

What could possibly go wrong?


End file.
